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Recently I was looking for some good programming quotes for one of my presentation. An Engineering student attended a Medical exam by mistake. 10 Engineering Quotes “As engineers, we were going to be in a position to change the world – not just study it.” —Henry Petroski, American engineer and author specializing in failure analysis “The scientist discovers a new type of material or energy and the engineer discovers a new use for it.” The engineer says, “Look, I’m an engineer. “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes You just have to read these funny quotes about engineering. much help at all. Quote #1. With that in mind, I offer my top ten engineering quotes. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes Engineer Quotes (123 quotes) Boss: Dilbert, You have been chosen to design the world’s safest nuclear power plant. Engineers Day Facebook Images. An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be. Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”, A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. Funny quotes. 1. Antibody - One who hates his body . The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. “Take the best that exists and make it better.” How cool that you get to drive a train everyday! An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer. “Try the same when the engine is running.”?? “The road to success is always under construction”. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. A solution exists!” and goes back to sleep. The chemist tries to erode the can. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data. They find out that they’re to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. The physicist goes first. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. “A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.”, “Wow,” remarked his friend. He worked it out with a pencil. Funny Engineer Quotes - Find a happy and positive messages every day to light up your day. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers. Liked these engineer jokes? . First the engineer’s coffee maker catches fire. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Happy birthday engineer! . Civil engineers build targets. Although some of which are pretty old already, they can still tickle a geek's funny … Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. That doesn’t work either. You’re in the wrong place.”. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, “Four.”, The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said…. Funny engineering funny funny engineering quotes funny engineer quotes File Size: 600 x 600 pixels (43827 bytes) Image Name: quotes picture quotes 4405 views File Size: 480 x 480 pixels (37220 bytes) Image Name: 50 funnyputer quotes funny quotes failure humorousputer quotes classic!. They are not for making money. “When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.”. Send him up here.”, Satan shook his head, “No way. “I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”, “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Here Funny Engineer Quotes is a quote to enrich your life. Discover and share Engineer Humor Funny Quotes. It is amazing that almost anything is made fun of and engineering doesn’t escape the list. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”, God was as mad as he had ever been, “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. He says to himself, “Hmm. See his answers... the last one is ultimate. Makes a perfect gift for the engineer, engineering professor and student. mechanical engineer, coffee, funny, caffeine, espresso, latte, coffee beans, cappuccino, cool, cute, awesome, quotes, sayings, mechanical engineer bestfriend, mechanical engineer boyfriend, mechanical engineer employee, mechanical engineer co worker, mechanical engineer staff, mechanical engineer personnel, mechanical engineer student, mechanical engineer graduate, mechanical engineer … He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. The goal of nature is to build better mice. but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. Just kidding, I know you have a boring office job! The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, “Four.”, The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, It's funny how good memories can make you cry, Quotes tagged as "engineering" Showing 1-30 of 190. Programming Quotes. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. Shop by fabric, brand, style or lots of other options for your funny engineer … The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. 1. If it is, document it. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, “How much do you want it to be?”, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” "Scientists dream about doing great things. it's funny how forever never seems to last, Explore 274 Engineers Quotes by authors including Scott Adams, Mark Zuckerberg, and James A. Michener at BrainyQuote. An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet. And about the former I am rather more optimistic. Mechanical engineers build weapons. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. That’s a mistake. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? A look at life to the right of the bell curve because engineering = magic. Engineering Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection. Funny Engineer T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Engineer T-Shirts now! We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”, God’s face clouded over and he exploded, “What? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Engineering quotes. Engineering Humor "A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. Then why not share them with your friends? That doesn’t work. “I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guy’s side, they let him go. Architects and engineers are among the most fortunate of men since they build their own monuments with public consent, public approval and often public money. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. “You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: “I’ve got it! Many of these quotes are common in the profession, often attributed to various sources. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. 7861 matching entries found. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. “No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”. “Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”. 60. 10. How does one put out a fire? Engineers do them." It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. You’ll have to spend several sleepless nights and skip partying with friends just to study. Not only classic but Epic ? If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”, The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”, “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”, “Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. This is my top 20 favorite engineer quotes, nuff said. This could be accomplished by applying water.” So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep. TF2 class #6 Engineer Good things Capable of building stuff Bad Things Low HP it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Maybe you want to start designing your own funny engineer sayings t-shirt designs from a blank slate. “How do you start a flood?” he asked. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. Make Funny Engineer Quotes Excerpts Work or motivation for daily reflection for the Workplace. 20+ Funny Web Developer & Software Programmer Quotes We collected some cool web designer quotes not long ago and thought a follow up with the web developer version would be an awesome idea just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings if they are more coding oriented. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”, Satan laughed and replied, “Hey, things are going great. What were they to do? Piecemeal social engineering resembles physical engineering in regarding the ends as beyond the province of technology. 2. They have a supply of canned goods but no can opener. ; Engineering is the art and science of nuts and bolts. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. Life is like a gas turbine, After every compressor, there is always a turbine! Here are 25 of the funny programming quotes in random order. They crash the raft onto the bank. — Anonymous. One man's magic is another man's engineering. Plus, the funny engineer sayings t-shirts you see above start at just $14.95. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram. 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The engineer goes second. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. He should never have been sent down there. The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. Assume the can is open!”. 1. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”. She replied' the engineers make advances and add no detail, the lawyers argue details and make no advance'. “Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of power in nature for the use and convenience of man.” - Thomas Tredgold. The goal of science and engineering is to build better mousetraps. A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes byJun-February 03, 2010-88 comments If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50 Linux quotes of all time, I'm sure you would love these funny computer-related quotes that I have put together. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Funny Engineering Quotes and Sayings. You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. He would have to ask an engineer to do that." He was one of the pioneers who improved on the design of motor cars to make them much more efficient. “We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us.” - Winston Churchill. The last one is strapped in and say’s “I’m an electrical engineer, and I’ll tell you right now, you’ll never electrocute anybody if you don’t connect those two wires.”. Choose a blank t-shirt to create your own from scratch. See some amazing funny engineering quotes below. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines Good move. 62. Also, it was a very difficult and rigorous course. Great Birthday gift and Christmas present. Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes “But remember this, Japanese boy... airplanes are not tools for war. Oct 19, 2018 - If it isn't broken, take it apart and fix it. “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball. Software Engineering might be science; but that's not what I do. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. After a few minutes he’s ready, he takes aim, and he fires. Engineers Day Whats App Status. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. 20 Best Banker Jokes Showing search results for "Funny Engineering" sorted by relevance. I'm a hacker, not an engineer. Get it right….CIVIL ENGINEERS. it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. 2. . Engineers and Glasses The optimist sees the glass as half full. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? Supernatural is a null word. . On this page: Engineering Terminology; Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. “That’s great. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. Grin and bear it with this funny navy 100% cotton Engineer's Motto Engineering T-shirt it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Facebook Haha Funny Thoughts Secrets Hate Love. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. I was amazed to find that there are some good programming quotes that are really funny and need some brains to figure out the fun part. Frankly, you’ve not been it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, ... but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults.

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